We named our party play list daddy issues
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
