I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
