he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
