and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
