went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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