Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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