I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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