Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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