i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
