Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
