sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
