Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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