I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
