just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
