remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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