i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
