I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
