i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
