So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
