Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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