i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
