I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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