tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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