I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
two words...techno handjob
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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