piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
