I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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