I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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