If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
