when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
