You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
