Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize