is your mom at the bar?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
