you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
