Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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