He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
