you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hate all girls vehemently.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize