There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
