He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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