he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
