Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
