We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
