Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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