Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
