Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
