I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Pooping to opera.
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