I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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