I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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