am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
