Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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