Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
do herpes really smell.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
