My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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