your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
is that a dick in a sweater?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
