Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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