She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize