what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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