Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I intend to get homeless drunk
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
