Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
