This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
