I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
