its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
