Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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