the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
