i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
