Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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