escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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