is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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