I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
