Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You have to summon your inner elephant
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
tell me about the eggs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
