For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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