Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize